I’ve always been happy with UPS, the drivers were friendly on the rare occasions I saw them. Any questions I could stop at the garage in Lansdowne and talk to the driver or the boss. They would leave packages on the front porch or before I retired I had a dog house on the porch with a hinged lid and they would put packages in there out of sight and weather.
 
BUT a few weeks ago I found a package on the wet ground in the rain, by the mailbox, next to the road, where I couldn’t see it from the house. Color me annoyed.
Four days later I get an email, your package has been delivered to the front door. Nope, not there, it’s out by the mailbox, by the road where nobody can see it except the cars driving by. Since the first one four days earlier I’d been trying to contact UPS. All I could get online or on the phone was virtual assistants that answer only questions they are programmed to. The VA at the 800 number told me to say the 18 digit tracking number slowly, one digit at a time, then gave me a cheery, “I didn’t get that”, eight fucking times. Then she told me to go online and hung up.
 
A couple days later I ran out of checks. I thought I had another book in the safe but I didn’t, so I went online Sunday evening and ordered checks from the printer paying extra for 2 day service. Tuesday they emailed they are sent. I got an email from UPS saying they would be delivered on Wednesday between 1:45 and 3:45 PM.
They sent another email Wednesday morning saying they would be delivered today between 1:45 and 3:45 PM.
Wednesday morning at 11:59 AM I get an email saying they had been delivered. Of course they were not at the front door, so I go out to the mailbox and not there either. Click on “proof of delivery” it says “left at front door”. It also says delivered to HAVERTOWN, PA, 19083, I live in BROOKHAVEN, PA, 19015.
There is not one soul in Havertown with my surname. Havertown has no street name even close to my road.
I can see at 3AM the bleary eyed loader putting it in the wrong truck, but how in hell was it delivered?? To whom was it delivered??
 After an afternoon of frustration trying to contact UPS I get a phone call from a woman saying, “It’s no big deal” the Havertown driver will pick them up and bring them back to the garage. The Brookhaven driver will deliver them tomorrow. Have a nice day and hangs up.
Hulk hates “It’s no big deal”. Grrr
So Thursday I get an email,  They were delivered to your front door.


The package had been ripped open I assume by whoever they were delivered to as UPS would have no reason to open them. They arrived in a UPS box with part of the original package taped on the box.
OK, I go online and battle the VA long enough eventually get a live assistant... in India, or some other awkward English place. She didn’t have a clue to what I was talking about. She insisted I give her a tracking number or she couldn’t do anything so I gave her the last one from the checks. 
She reassured me she would pass the problem to the local facility.
I responded sure, pass the buck to somebody else hoping I’ll give up.
Oh no, they will bring prompt attention to your frustration.
Wanna bet real money on that?
Repeat assurances, then is there anything else I can help you with?
You haven’t done anything for me yet.
Repeat assurances. and offer.
I guess we’re done then.
Repeat assurances.
I can’t make them understand the package delivered to the wrong town was immensely stupid but that’s been resolved, my problem is not delivering to the porch but leaving shit by the road. Grrr.
The next day a woman from UPS left a voicemail saying the screwed up delivery was a one time thing and would never happen again. Obviously she didn’t have a clue what I was complaining about either.
 
I figured out where the UPS trucks come from, Hog Island behind the airport. I went down there in the early afternoon and went in the guard shack door marked visitors which is just a counter in the corner of the big area with the metal detectors that employees go through going in and out.
So I tell the 2 chicks (security guards) behind the counter my problem and they say, oh, you have to talk to the people in the trailer next door, and they’re only there from 6 to 9 PM.
I know that’s bullshit because I’ve been in trailer several times. Just one or two clerks so you can send or arrange to pick up packages there after hours. Why the fuck should I have to talk to shipping/receiving clerks. Lying bitches, I tried to be friendly and as non-threatening as possible but a wasted effort. I should go back with the AR-15 or the Street-Sweeper. Grrrrr I’ll just say they were Democrat child trafficking pedophiles.