!)          Buttons are on all the clothes you are wearing as you read this? 18. More than I expected.
#)         Hard-copy books have you read in the last 12 months? Maybe one, but I can't remember for sure.  Although I have read from maybe 20-30 different books in the last year.  I read nonfiction and just jump around until I find interesting passages. Or even better, passages that put me to sleep.  I'm currently reading Neuroscience for Dummies, and it's pretty dry, but I did learn that retinas actually process information. They don't just pass signals along to the brain, like I thought previously. They kind of think about the information first and delete a ton of shit and do sort of a jpeg compression. Only then is the signal sent to the brain. 
$)         Times have you complained about the weather this week? Commented on the weather? Perhaps a dozen times.  Complained? Zero, I think.
%)       Is too many? What is this? I can't even.
 

!)          Buttons are on all the clothes you are wearing as you read this?  0
#)         Hard-copy books have you read in the last 12 months?  3
$)         Times have you complained about the weather this week?  None I think
%)       Is too many?  Five, I guess, nowadays...