The Cellar » The Things My Cow Orker Says

monster · 6/06/2023 8:52 pm

"If I need any assistance I've be sure to be proactive"

overheard today. f'realz.

also

"I will be sure to communicate that to you"

monster · 6/06/2023 10:55 pm

English - Cow Orker Dictionary, The part of which has a count established as one

Help - Assist
Know - Be Cognizant Of
Need - Require
Tell - Communicate To
Think - Believe
Too - Also
Write - Document

Cow Orker - English Dictionary

* Anything* - Aaaaaargh WTF??????

monster · 6/06/2023 10:57 pm

We now have a diagnosis. Verb Cancer.

griff · 6/07/2023 6:29 am

*gasp*

Flint · 6/07/2023 6:35 pm

who does this guy think he is, Brent Spiner?

monster · 6/07/2023 7:19 pm

Adding to English - Cow Orker Dictionary
Can - Can Absolutely
Yes - Most Definitely
Well - Exceptionally Well
No - Believe Not

monster · 6/12/2023 7:11 pm

monster wrote:
Adding to English - Cow Orker Dictionary
Can - Can Absolutely
Yes - Most Definitely
Well - Exceptionally Well
No - Believe Not

In -Located In

Them via chat: I'm OOTO sick today and tomorrow, would you be able to to this task* for me?"
me: yup, where are the important items?
Them (still via google chat....): They are located in the .......

It's a good job I'm strong. .....Let me rephrase. It is a fortunate occurrence that I possess strength.

monster · 6/23/2023 5:35 pm

monster wrote:
English - Cow Orker Dictionary,

Very - Extremely or Splendidly (I know, I know....overheard at least twice today)
Useful - Advantageous

tw · 6/24/2023 8:19 am

monster wrote:
"If I need any assistance I've be sure to be proactive"

Can someone become antiactive?

monster · 6/24/2023 10:03 am

I didn't think so, but then Twat demonstrated that killl more than adequately last week

toranokaze · 7/20/2023 2:02 pm

Office language is its own dialect of English.

monster · 7/20/2023 6:01 pm

He is still emailing "a count of x was established" every fucking time he confirms a mailing has gone.

Ans yes, he is that person who replies all on any group-wide email with inanities like "Thank you, Fred, that's good to know" when Fred emailed all 100 of us to say he was going to be OOTO this afternoon (required)

griff · 7/21/2023 7:27 am

he he

toranokaze · 7/21/2023 2:14 pm

And every email is marked urgent

monster · 7/21/2023 5:03 pm

toranokaze wrote:
And every email is marked urgent

fortunately not. that is not a done thing chez nous

toranokaze · 7/24/2023 12:50 am

Small mercies

tw · 7/24/2023 6:28 pm

monster wrote:
that is not a done thing chez nous

I never liked anything that the nous family did.

monster · 8/02/2023 10:53 pm

Another entry for the Eng-Twat dictionary:

buy = purchase

I mean... it's ok in a business sense, but twat used it in the context of getting a coffee from the vending machine ffs in conversation, not written.

monster · 9/14/2023 11:45 pm

OMFG ...he used a shorter word than possible.....

He asked me if I knew the best place to purchase (yup) mums.

I said no idea, mine was shit I have no interest in aquiring another...

(then I helped ... and called them by their full name for my own amusement)

monster · 11/22/2023 4:52 pm

We don't get used to or become familiar with new processes -we acclimate to them. I mean really? dood.
twat.

griff · 11/23/2023 8:08 am

monster wrote:
OMFG ...he used a shorter word than possible.....

He asked me if I knew the best place to purchase (yup) mums.

I said no idea, mine was shit I have no interest in aquiring another...

(then I helped ... and called them by their full name for my own amusement)

Nice