The Cellar » Do you need to vent? Because I do.

Clodfobble · 8/08/2021 7:48 am

I'm so fucking tired, y'all. This summer has been a bitch.

So over the fall, I became the co-owner of a videogame development summer camp. Long story, but I've been essentially working 10-14 hour weekdays since June, plus moving furniture in and out repeatedly on the weekends as we dealt with location leasing problems.

I still run the uniform exchange at the school, which equates to about 30-40 volunteer hours--largely physical labor--in the 2 weeks leading up to the start of school, which is Tuesday.

On the other side of that equation, of course, I'm also a parent with two kids starting back under very unclear and chaotic circumstances. To give you an idea, the governor issued an order that schools must be in-person and can't require masks and are not obligated to let anyone know if anyone on campus tests positive and that visibly sick children have the right to attend school anyway. The Austin Independent School District (which is not where we are, but it's indicative of the feeling of all the districts right now) issued a counter-statement that was just a picture of his statement with shit crossed out in red ink and replaced with the words "AISD will" and "families should" do all the things he said they can't do.

My dad has been severely ill with COVID for 2 weeks now, which culminated (but not really, 'cuz it ain't over yet) in a trip to the ER yesterday. They said, "yep, you're super sick, but not sick enough to take one of our precious beds," even though he's barely able to stand, completely unable to keep food inside him--or to get to the bathroom in time--has lost 20 pounds, is displaying cognitive confusion, and had an O2 saturation of 87%. They gave him IV fluids for a few hours and sent him home with a "portable" oxygen compressor that he's not strong enough to wheel around the house. While he was in the ER, I spent 6 hours cleaning up his house so that there wasn't, you know, literal shit everywhere, and since they sent him home it's apparent that the only option is for me to come over there every day and feed him applesauce and help him change in and out of his Depends and then stand on his porch sanitizing my entire fucking body before I go back into the world. (Yes, I'm vaccinated, but no, I don't want to spread it.)

Here's my schedule for Monday, which is representative of my week:

8:30 - Go to the school and start rolling the clothing racks back into the closet, a task that takes about 1.5 hours and 3 miles of walking in total.
10:00 - Visit Dad (he's 40 minutes away from the school, so I won't finish with the racks)
11:30 - Take my daughter to the orthodontist
12:30 - Call the pediatrician to figure out why/how they screwed up the blood labwork that we tried to get done on Saturday, and couldn't, becase the lab said the order was wrong.
1:00 - Phone appointment with the kids' psychiatrist
1:30 - Go back to the school and finish with the racks
2:30 - Eat something? Take the kids back to bloodwork, if the order has been fixed.
4:00 - Take my son to his "schedule pickup" at the school to drop off supplies and meet the teachers
6:30 - Take the kids to swimming lessons
7:30 - Feed the kids somehow, ideally with groceries I will buy today?
8:30 - Prepare articles for the weekly podcast I still have to record on Wednesday

There are a bunch of other things, but Mr. Clod is taking on several of them and might be able to do more. Rest assured, he's been awesome at doing everything he can. I've been saying for weeks that things will get better once school starts, but with my dad becoming a daily need, that no longer seems to be the case. And the dogs still wake me up at 6:00 in the damn morning, no matter what.

monster · 8/08/2021 9:11 am

No wonder you need to vent. Will your dad not allow someone else in as a carer?

Last edited by monster (8/08/2021 10:08 am)

xoxoxoBruce · 8/08/2021 2:38 pm

Clod, you need a hobby to distract you from the routine.
How about the hitchhiking / riding the rails across the country hobby, then when you get back in the spring a fresh start.
The videogame development summer camp and the uniform exchange sound like volunteer moves but the rest are gifts from an evil spirit.
I know two folks who are in the process of moving out of Texas because of the bullshit.
I know you're tough as nails but take care of yourself please.

Limey · 8/08/2021 4:57 pm

oh. Fuck.

Clodfobble · 8/08/2021 6:28 pm

monster wrote:
Will your dad not allow someone else in as a carer?

Not a chance. He has a lifelong paranoia about being robbed, and keeps loaded guns readily accessible in the house. I've tried to pressure him into hiring a cleaning service as he gets older, but he's always refused on the basis that they might be casing the joint.

glatt · 8/08/2021 7:23 pm

I'm so sorry.

monster · 8/08/2021 10:53 pm

Clod, my darling, when you get a chance, shoot up here and don't bring the fam. Or the dogs, One day, it will happen. Meanwhile.... while he's not home, mebbe y'all could relocate your dad's loaded guns?

Clodfobble · 8/09/2021 4:23 am

I've definitely been tempted to use this opportunity to pack up the one whose location I know for sure. What's held me back so far is the fear that I'd fuck up the unloading (either by fumbling and accidentally firing, or else some classic movie bullshit like "haha, you removed the clip but forgot about the one in the chamber!") Anyway. I just need to find a YouTube video that will walk me through unloading his particular model. I don't want it in my house, but I can at least put it neatly away in his house somewhere that he'll never find it in his current state, but which I can plausibly claim made sense to me at the time when he eventually discovers it's been moved.

griff · 8/09/2021 6:15 am

Jesus. Good call on the guns. Everything is insane now. Keep breathing.

xoxoxoBruce · 8/09/2021 9:58 pm

When you unload it do it outside pointed at the ground, dirt not pavement. That way if youtube lied it'll scare the crap out of you but no harm no foul.

Try not to think about the fact that you are the one holding that whole state of Texas together.

Diaphone Jim · 8/10/2021 11:54 am

This dilemma has made me think for the first time about how unsettling (and worse) the ubiquity of firearms are to the many who are unfamiliar with them.
For a lot of folks, finding a gun in bedside drawer or under a pillow would elicit a "Cool. Probably ought to secure it," followed by an almost reflexive procedure with little or no danger to objects or people nearby.
Without that confidence, it would be like finding a nest of rattlesnakes.
Right off, I don't think I have any advice. The YouTube idea is pretty good, though.

Clodfobble · 8/10/2021 3:51 pm

He complained about politics for about 40 minutes straight today. An annoying but good sign.

Last edited by Clodfobble (8/10/2021 3:51 pm)

TheNeverWas · 8/10/2021 7:59 pm

Diaphone Jim wrote:
Without that confidence, it would be like finding a nest of rattlesnakes.

Without that confidence one should do the same thing as one would do with a found rattlesnake...Leave it the fuck alone.

Clod, please get someone who knows what they're doing to do whatever needs doing with those firearms. That's not something to 'learn on YouTube'.

Clodfobble · 8/11/2021 6:26 am

I mean, I get what you're saying, but just so we're clear: you want me to find someone who assures me they're Good At Guns--perhaps post a request for a Gun Person on the school's Facebook page? Or have Mr. Clod start asking around at work? That surely won't have unintended consequences--then you want me to convince that person to enter a pandemic hot zone with me, where they will hear, at best, the ongoing raspy cough of their future viral demise--because let's be honest, the overlap of Gun Folks and Vaccinated Folks is pretty low--or more likely, the coughing plus the shouting of an awakened old man who feels his home and trust have been violated by his own daughter, of all people, and who may or may not continue to cooperate with his medical treatment after I have snuck someone into his house to take his guns just like Fox News has been promising him would happen all along.

I know you're just concerned for my safety, and "get someone who knows what they're doing" is generally sound advice. But there is literally no practical way to do what you're suggesting.

Diaphone Jim · 8/11/2021 12:04 pm

Safely securing the firearms stashed around the house in varying states of loaded and cocked is a fraught proposition.
I think it is probable the person capable of helping you do it will soon appear.

glatt · 8/11/2021 4:44 pm

You can learn a lot on youtube and you're a smart cookie. So I say go for it.

Except you have also indicated on more than one occasion in the past that you don't feel particularly mechanically inclined, so maybe don't go for it.

Can you take a picture of it and post it here? Maybe one of the many confident folks can give you pointers.

xoxoxoBruce · 8/11/2021 9:40 pm

Shame you have no one in your social circle who could help/advise switching out the ammo in all his guns with blanks. That way he would feel he's ready even if he checks, unless he takes the blanks out. But if he screws up with the blanks he probably won't hurt anyone.
But if there is no one you're right about finding one would not be practical.
Take care of yourself.

Last edited by xoxoxoBruce (8/11/2021 9:41 pm)

BigV · 8/12/2021 12:33 am

just a quick note. really, I have other more verbose notes just over there >>>

anydamnhow.

jesus clod. my heart is with you.

meanwhile, shit's gettin real up here, too. vent pressure has been established, but venting time is consumed by vent pressure accumulation.

Clodfobble · 8/19/2021 6:48 pm

An update on the bullshit:

My dad's improvement has been slow, but steady. He can now sit up long enough to eat real food, and managed a short shower yesterday as long as he steadied himself with one hand the entire time. His body has decided it's time to start gaining back the weight he's lost, so he's insanely hungry, but he still can't eat too fast or too much at once, so he's going through this nonstop cycle of eat for 10 minutes, sleep for 30. He "ran out of food" (that I had prepared and left beside his bed) at 11:00pm last night, and between then and when I next arrived at 9:30am, he ate 16 Jellos and an entire package of lunch meat he found in his fridge. But it's a good sign overall--I suspect he's actually beaten off the virus entirely by now, and is now just recovering from all the damage it did.

The kids have enjoyed the start of school, though after a year and a half I forgot what a pain the dropoff/pickup commute is. Also, I'm filling up my gas tank like twice a week now, compared to about once a month over the whole pandemic. It's annoying. Part of that is also because I'm giving my stepson a ride to his super-far-away job every day since his car got totaled, but he's got the insurance money now and should be getting a replacement vehicle this weekend.

I can see a light at the end of the tunnel, though. One more week maybe.

xoxoxoBruce · 8/19/2021 10:49 pm

That light is relief not the Union Pacific.

griff · 8/20/2021 6:08 am

I'm glad things are sorting.

Anon · 10/29/2021 7:37 pm

My MIL is dying.

Hospice was considered, we were going to bring her home because the nearest "facility" is far away, too far.

The newest news is that there's been a turn for the worse and morphine is on the menu. Uresponsive, DNR, no hydration or nutrition.

I'm very sad.

griff · 10/29/2021 8:49 pm

Sorry Anon.

Clodfobble · 10/29/2021 10:18 pm

Sorry.

Limey · 10/30/2021 4:09 pm

Sorry, anon.