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The Cellar: a friendly neighborhood coffee shop, with no coffee and no shop. Established 1990.

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12/19/2022 5:18 pm  #26


Re: Parenting the Parents

Again, so sorry, mate x


Living life on the edge.
 

12/20/2022 7:45 am  #27


Re: Parenting the Parents

Thanks Limey. There are lessons in this for me. I just need to hear them.


If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis Brandeis
     Thread Starter
 

12/20/2022 8:04 am  #28


Re: Parenting the Parents

Griff, it is just so hard when parents, who were once so capable and fiercely independent, need support, guidance and protection, but they refuse to see it, and reject the help you offer. It is impossible to over-rule that decision by the very nature of the parent-child relationship, even though it becomes inverted as this thread title says.
In fact there is a Ukrainian saying which translates roughly as "If there are a lot of us, we'll manage to beat up Dad" which is about achieving the impossible ("Many hands make light work", sort of) and actually truly reflects how impossible it is for children to overturn a parental decision. At any stage in life. So please don't beat yourselves up, you and Pete. You did absolutely the best you could at the time with the information available to you at that point. x
 


Living life on the edge.
 

12/20/2022 9:30 am  #29


Re: Parenting the Parents

Well, I'm glad you and Pete have each other to soldier through this.  I'm sorry for all the crap you have to deal with now.  And the vipers who were sucking her dry financially.  Presumably they are friends and family who you know and probably feel like you need to attempt to keep good relationships with.  Good luck navigating that delicate path.  People can really be lazy, manipulative, and selfish.

 

12/20/2022 12:17 pm  #30


Re: Parenting the Parents

One of the blessings-in-disguise when my uncle had to go into a nursing home was that for Medicare to cover it, he had to have basically no money to his name. So while he was still alive and cognizant, he let my dad help him sell his car, end his lease agreement, and liquidate/close all his accounts, which was still a lot of work, but left no nasty surprises in the end when he passed.

I wish more old people would unwind their own shit at least a little before the end, but I guess no one ever wants to think that the end might be near.
 

 

12/20/2022 12:35 pm  #31


Re: Parenting the Parents

You knew her end was near and were mostly prepared.
Made worse being blindsided by the perfidy of people you trusted.
This, too shall pass.

 

12/21/2022 6:48 am  #32


Re: Parenting the Parents

Dwellars bringing truth and consolation to the table today. You are some beautiful people.


If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis Brandeis
     Thread Starter
 

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