Carrot passed away today, around midday. 
He was helped on his way to the Rainbow bridge by a very caring vet. 
He was at home, with me and mum came by as well. 

i am broken. 
and i feel guilty for shouting at him so much lately when he wouldn't strop barking, or when he kept tipping his food onto the carpet
I feel guilty for all the times i told him to go and settle, because i just wanted to watch tv or youtube and didn't have the mental energy to engage after work, and walks and meals.

I'd give anything to have those evenings back. 

but i also know that he had lovely times too. 

i miss him so much already. i am dreading bed time.