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    12/01/2021 8:09 am  #51

    TheNeverWas
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    Registered: 6/30/2021
    Posts: 1,338

    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

    Phrases I've heard recently:

    Hotter than a two-peckered tomcat;
    Sharper than a pissed off porcupine;
    Happier than a puppy with two peters;
    Stinks bad enough to knock a buzzard off a gut wagon;
    Locked up tighter than an ex-wife's diary...
     

    These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
     

    12/02/2021 12:36 pm  #52

    Diaphone Jim
    Not Ignoring You.

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    Registered: 10/13/2020
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    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

    Undertoad wrote:

    this trend of admiring double wangs must end

    i can see no benefit to adding a second one, it would only lead to trouble and woe

    Thinking of Teslas and spare tires.

     

    12/02/2021 3:07 pm  #53

    xoxoxoBruce
    The Future is Unwritten

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    Registered: 10/15/2020
    Posts: 4,058

    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

    Can't be two-faced, got to put our heads together,and give the problem a double penetration.

    I'll show myself out....

     Freedom is just another word for nothin' left to lose.
     
     

    12/09/2021 10:03 pm  #54

    xoxoxoBruce
    The Future is Unwritten

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    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

     Freedom is just another word for nothin' left to lose.
     
     

    12/09/2021 10:30 pm  #55

    BigV
    Hold my smoky malt beverage and watch this

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    From: the upper left corner
    Registered: 10/13/2020
    Posts: 1,389

    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

    BWAAAAAAGAGAGAGAG

    **CHOKE**



    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    Be Just And Fear Not
     

    12/12/2021 7:22 am  #56

    TheNeverWas
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    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

    Sounds like a good way to pick up a little extra money.  Ima start going to bachelorette parties, and robbing the stripper(s).

    Hey, I could show up naked and charge them to put my clothes back on!  I'll be rich!!!
     

    These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
     

    12/23/2021 11:19 pm  #57

    xoxoxoBruce
    The Future is Unwritten

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    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

    Great find...

     Freedom is just another word for nothin' left to lose.
     
     

    12/29/2021 12:10 am  #58

    xoxoxoBruce
    The Future is Unwritten

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    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

     Freedom is just another word for nothin' left to lose.
     
     

    1/01/2022 5:42 pm  #59

    xoxoxoBruce
    The Future is Unwritten

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    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

    New Year don'ts from my friend NAG...

     

     Freedom is just another word for nothin' left to lose.
     
     

    1/05/2022 8:15 pm  #60

    xoxoxoBruce
    The Future is Unwritten

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    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

    Are people really dumb enough to believe this ad?

     Freedom is just another word for nothin' left to lose.
     
     

    1/06/2022 7:45 pm  #61

    BigV
    Hold my smoky malt beverage and watch this

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    Registered: 10/13/2020
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    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

    Of course.

    Some are, some are.

    Be Just And Fear Not
     

    1/09/2022 11:20 pm  #62

    xoxoxoBruce
    The Future is Unwritten

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    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

    Find one. 

     Freedom is just another word for nothin' left to lose.
     
     

    1/12/2022 2:14 am  #63

    xoxoxoBruce
    The Future is Unwritten

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    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

    High School career councilors guide to out the door...

     Freedom is just another word for nothin' left to lose.
     
     

    1/14/2022 9:55 pm  #64

    xoxoxoBruce
    The Future is Unwritten

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    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

    Coen Brothers played a trick on the Dude...

     Freedom is just another word for nothin' left to lose.
     
     

    1/22/2022 11:09 pm  #65

    xoxoxoBruce
    The Future is Unwritten

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    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

    Take lots and lots of them...

     Freedom is just another word for nothin' left to lose.
     
     

    1/24/2022 12:07 pm  #66

    TheNeverWas
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    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

    Take lots and lots of them...

    I gotta take 'em!?  Like, with water?

    No wonder they ain't been workin', I been wiping them all over  myself.  Well, just the sinny places...Tingly.
     

    Last edited by TheNeverWas (1/24/2022 12:08 pm)

    These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
     

    1/26/2022 7:56 pm  #67

    xoxoxoBruce
    The Future is Unwritten

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    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

    It's not lying if they're trying to sell something...

     Freedom is just another word for nothin' left to lose.
     
     

    2/09/2022 12:53 am  #68

    xoxoxoBruce
    The Future is Unwritten

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    Posts: 4,058

    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

     Freedom is just another word for nothin' left to lose.
     
     

    2/09/2022 7:28 pm  #69

    Diaphone Jim
    Not Ignoring You.

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    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

    https://i0.wp.com/www.theava.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/ValentineSpecial.jpg?ssl=1

     

    2/13/2022 2:02 am  #70

    xoxoxoBruce
    The Future is Unwritten

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    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

    But Valentine's day is monday, Jim. LoL

    Here' a rare historical photo...

     Freedom is just another word for nothin' left to lose.
     
     

    2/13/2022 12:45 pm  #71

    Diaphone Jim
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    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

    xoxoxoBruce wrote:

    But Valentine's day is monday, Jim. LoL


    I thought of that later.  Maybe it is left over from another year.

     

    2/17/2022 5:00 am  #72

    TheNeverWas
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    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

    So, this ain't a joke.  It happened a few hours ago.

    So, there we all were, setting at m'buddy's house, drinking tequila.  On the counter, are six bottles of tequila.  Five are empty, and number six is dying a slow death.  And that's when it hit me.

    There is a band called The Royal Court of China, and they have a song called Six Empty Bottles.  Okay, back to the story:

    I made the comment that we should commemorate this occasion somehow.  And then we discussed ways to do that.  Then, yours truly said "Gimme something to write on, man ."[/VanHalen]

    And I started writing down the lyrics to Six Empty Bottles;

    I've got six empty bottles of tequila
    And I'm thinking of you
    Not too clearly at the moment
    And I've got six empty bottles of tequila
    To keep me company
    While I'm thinking something evil

    Now, this bunch knows that it's not unheard of for me to bust poetic now and then, so I didn't have to do much acting.  Just acted like I was writing as I "thought up" these lyrics.  After they passed the paper around they started warming up to "my poem".  And then it got to "Damn, y'know, this ain't too bad."  And progressed to "This is pretty good."

    And then I borrowed someone's phone and found the song, and played it, unannounced.  It took about 10-15 seconds for the guy next to me to pick up on my ruse and state "You ain't worth a damn!"  And in about another ten seconds I thought they were gonna kick my ass, or start throwing tequila bottles.

    Drunk people are fun.  And gullible.

    Here's the tune, it's a pretty good song.  Enjoy!




     

    These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
     

    2/17/2022 5:01 am  #73

    TheNeverWas
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    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

    That might be my longest post here on the new Cellar.

    These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
     

    2/17/2022 4:02 pm  #74

    glatt
    TM

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    Registered: 10/13/2020
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    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

    lol

     

    2/19/2022 9:49 pm  #75

    xoxoxoBruce
    The Future is Unwritten

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    Re: Humor...I Need Humor

    TheNeverWas wrote:

    That might be my longest post here on the new Cellar.

    And a damn fine story it is, those occasions are what makes life worth the pain.

     Freedom is just another word for nothin' left to lose.
     
     

     

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