I got three Christmas catalogs the same day. I wasn't shopping but it was the day before trash day so I glanced through them to see if anything blew my skirt up. Well that was the plan but the printed Tee shirts/sweatshirts/hoodies caught my interest. Many repeats across the 3 catalogs, and two catalogs claimed they had an exclusive on a design that was also in another catalog. To be fair it might have been an exclusive when they first advertised it and subsequent catalogs didn't get changed... or... they lied.
PBS catalog
Fish tremble at my name.
Think outside... no box required.
I don’t want to, I don’t have to, you can’t make me, I’m retired.
Your Mother was a Hamster and your Father smelt of Elderberries.
The garden is calling and I must go.
I remember being able to get up without sound effects.
Tis the season to be freezin.
What if we just melted cheese over all our problems.
I never lose, I either win or I learn.
Ehh, that’s good enough - Mediocretes
I miss the days when knowledge was power.
We learn from history that we don’t learn from history.
Joe has 7 guitars, he buys 2 more, what does he have? Happiness.
Fully depreciated... still in use.
Sometimes I talk to myself, then we laugh and laugh.
Lawn & Order... special mowing unit.
Being 20 in the 70’s was more fun than being 70 in the 20’s.
Renewable energy... I’m a big fan
At the start of every disaster movie is a scientist being ignored.
If I seem a little strange it’s because I am.
Be real, not perfect.
Caring is the coolest thing I’ve seen anyone do.
I run like a girl... try to keep up.
Being Grandma doesn’t mean I’m old, it means I’m blessed.
My sister has the best sister in the world.
I’m not old, I’m mid-century modern.
I survived the 60’s...Twice.
Its weird being the same age as old people.
I belong at the kids table.
In ancient times cats were worshiped as gods... they haven’t forgotten.
It was me, I let the dogs out.
I don’t mind getting older but my body is taking it badly.

Signals Catalog
Today I choose Joy.
I survived the 60’s twice.
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, egg-nog, egg-nog, egg-nog, Blitzen!
I don’t have my ducks in a row. I have squirrels and they’re everywhere.
90% of being married is yelling WHAT from other rooms.
Hold on, let me overthink this.
Sometimes I think I read to much, but then I laugh and turn the page.
If it involves books and pajamas count me in.
OK, I’m here, you have two more wishes.
I haven’t been everywhere but it’s on my list.
What if they aren’t stars, but holes poked in the top so we can breath.
Sometimes I talk to myself then we laugh and laugh.
Mom, Grandma, Great Grandma, it just keeps getting better.
Cute enough to stop your heart ~ RN ~ skilled enough to restart it.
Nurse... The first person you see after saying “Watch This”.
I’m not arguing, I’m explaining why I’m right.
Life is one (beaver) dam project after another.
Lawn & Order... special mowing unit
I’m not old, I’m a classic.
Retired...I do nothing in the morning, to keep my afternoons free.
I’m NAME, doing NAME things.
Here I am, what are your other two wishes?
Being 20 in the 70’s was more fun than being 70 in the 20’s.
I remember being able to get up without sound effects.
Hunkle, like a normal Uncle but better looking.
I remember when things only cost an arm.
Meddle not in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
Mothers of little boys work from son up to son down.
In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Underestimate me, that’ll be fun.
Hardware stores are my therapy.
Programming is 10% writing code and 90% understanding why it’s not working.
Engineer, solving problems you didn’t know you had, it ways you can’t understand.
Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.
I don’t want to go through things that don’t kill me but make me stronger anymore.
Moses was the first person with a tablet downloading data from the cloud.
I’m silently correcting your grammar.
I’m the oldest, I make the rules.
I’m the middle, I’m the reason we had rules.
I’m the youngest, the rules don’t apply to me.
I don’t mind getting older but my body is taking it badly.
Uncle NAME, the man, the myth, the legend.
You matter unless you multiply by the speed of light, then you energy.
Real cars don’t shift themselves.
Car Guy, like a regular guy only cooler.
Bigfoot saw me but nobody believes him.
It’s not hoarding if it’s books.
Am I working at home or living at work?
Opera spoilers,
Tosca, she dies, La Traviata, she dies, Madame Butterfly, she dies, Carmen, she dies, Aida, she dies,
Turandot, she dies, Lucia de Lamamour, she dies, Tristan & Isolde, she dies, Orthello, she dies
Drink tea, read books, be happy.
I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas.
I’m Cold - me 24:7
Engineering Terms
   Percussive Maintenance = Whack it with your fist.
   high Impedance Air Gap = Not plugged in.
   Cycle power to the panel = Turn it off then on again.
   Thermally Reconfigured = It melted.
   Kinetic Disassembly = It blew up.
Books, the original hand held device.
Sometimes I think I read too much then I laugh and turn the page.

Acorn Catalog
Looks aren’t everything... but I have them just in case.
It takes a special kind of person to wake up early and still be late.
Everyone is born right handed, only the gifted overcome it.
Here I am, what are your other two wishes?
Drink tea, read books, be happy.
Keep talking, I’m diagnosing you.
The answer may not be at the beach, but we should at least check.
The Dockfather.
Send in the clowns.
Opera spoilers, Tosca, She Dies, La Traviata, She Dies, Madame Butterfly, She Dies,
Carmen, She Dies, Aida, She Dies, Turandot, She Dies, Lucia de Lamamour, She Dies
Tristan & Isolde, She Dies, Orthello, She Dies.
The garden is calling and I must go.
The tea is calling and I must go.
Mom, Grandma, Great Grandma, it just keeps getting better.
Cat whisperer.
Lawn & Order... special mowing unit
Probably hungry, likely sleepy, always cold.
Never trust an atom, they make up everything.
That’s what I do, I (action), and I know things.
guitar whisperer.
I’m with the banned (books)
One day you’re young and next you have a favorite pharmacy.
CURMUDGEON
Life is one (beaver) dam project after another.
Don’t rush me, I’m waiting for the last minute.
I just want to bake stuff and watch Christmas movies.
There’s no crying in Pickleball.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Philosophy is pondering if a Bloody Mary is a smoothie.
I’ll never quit but I will curse the whole time.
She believed she could but the cat was asleep on her lap so she didn’t.
Real men love cats.
Novinophobia, fear of running out of wine.
I don’t want to go through things that don’t kill me but make me stronger anymore.
Am I working at home or living at work?
What a difference a (NAME) makes.
Keep calm and Pickle on.
I am (NAME) doing (NAME) things.
I enjoy romantic walks through the hardware store.
I like to do crafts (beers)
Real cars don’t shift themselves.
It’s not hoarding if it’s guitars.
I’m, Cold - me 24:7
Still plays with trains.
I can’t, I have plans in the garage.
I figured out what I like most about people... their dogs.
Beach better have my money. (metal detector)
Car Guy, like a regular guy only cooler.
Owner of the worlds largest Lap Dog.
I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas.
Books, the original hand held device.
Sometimes I think I read too much then I laugh and turn the page.

I left out 3 or 4 that were visual and needed the picture, but that's a lot of shirts some pretty clever and some are just dumb.