oh I'm dumb. I was thinking about dystopia and assumed they had the same roots

Once she posted picture... no, make that two pictures,  of herself stark naked in the middle of a group orgy I knew she would stop at nothing to obtain power and control.
I hear her now...    Bwhahahahahahaha

Who among us has never had a friend like Clodfobble?  Who among us has never helped scrub every surface with bleach and tears?  Is there any person who has not sprayed acetone to destroy epithelial cells?  The stains still remain, no matter how hard you cry.  The smell never leaves, even when you get clever with lemon juice.  The Earth is soaked in vicious deeds and errant board members, that's a fact, and not a square inch of the planet hasn't been touched by terrible deeds.

Not a person in her hometown can ever remember Clodfobble being a child, and they'll not thank you for asking the details.  Hoary old greybeards tell yarns their grandfathers told them, of Clodfobble's wickedness and her GRIN and her awful stare.  The town, the world, resembles a conveyor belt, with the youngsters dropped on one end, while the elderly fall off the other, down into the whirling blades.  Who among us has never tried to dodge the undertaker?  Who among us has not made pacts with shadowy powers?  It never works. 

Yet Clodfobble remains, smiling at us all from under the hat she made from Johnny Rotten's face.
 

Last edited by Luce (10/23/2020 1:42 pm)

Luce wrote:

Who among us has never had a friend like Clodfobble?  Who among us has never helped scrub every surface with bleach and tears?  Is there any person who has not sprayed acetone to destroy epithelial cells?  The stains still remain, no matter how hard you cry.  The smell never leaves, even when you get clever with lemon juice.  The Earth is soaked in vicious deeds and errant board members, that's a fact, and not a square inch of the planet hasn't been touched by terrible deeds.

Not a person in her hometown can ever remember Clodfobble being a child, and they'll not thank you for asking the details.  Hoary old greybeards tell yarns their grandfathers told them, of Clodfobble's wickedness and her GRIN and her awful stare.  The town, the world, resembles a conveyor belt, with the youngsters dropped on one end, while the elderly fall off the other, down into the whirling blades.  Who among us has never tried to dodge the undertaker?  Who among us has not made pacts with shadowy powers?  It never works. 

Yet Clodfobble remains, smiling at us all from under the hat she made from Johnny Rotten's face.
 

CLASSIC clodfobble fan-fic
 

We call Clodfobble "The Rabbi", because she keeps us right with The Law.  No, you will not exceed 299,792,458 m/s in a vacuum.  Yes, you will move forward in time.  You will leave those impossible futures and pasts that never happened alone.  That's just garbage left over from being this close to something as big as the sun.  You warp the mass, you warp the time, and there is nothing that's good for you in all that mess.  It's bad physics.  Sin.  Clodfobble's job is to strip that sin off of you, and given the sheer amount of that sin, she can hardly be blamed if she occasionally strips the real past off of someone.  Someone like you.

But she isn't going to just throw you back out into the world without a past, so she finds a past that's not too egregiously impossible, and staples it right onto you.  So that's why you're living in a reality where Donald Trump is president and opposing groups of proudboys and antifa are running around screeching nonsense at each other and anyone who will listen. 

Don't get mad at her, it was the only thing left in the bin.

Flint wrote:

Luce wrote:

Clodfobble's job is to strip that sin off of you,

queens of the stone age wallpaper

 

Why is there no LIKE button?

Clodfobble served as the President of the United States from 1969 to 1974, when she was impeached for gross imposition after using her strap on, "The Crippler", on a joint session of congress to "teach those fat bastards a thing or two".  She escaped custody with the assistance of Spiro Agnew (who was gunned down by G-Men in the process), and has engaged in a running gun battle with the FBI ever since.  She is responsible for numerous bank robberies, mass beatings, and the destruction of Tacoma via nuclear weaponry.  She recently had herself ritually scarred by Polynesian tribesmen in Portland, Oregon...Who she then killed.  As such, she is - though adopted into the tribe - the last surviving member of her people.  Clodfobble is currently studying interpretive dance for reasons best left unexamined, and produces very high quality unauthorized Three's Company episodes, when she isn't gunning down G-men while doing bad James Cagney imitations.  Clodfobble ritually slays her mates, much like a praying mantis, and gnaws on their skulls when she's stressed.  She then lays eggs in the manner of salmon, though she doesn't die afterwards.  SHE DOESN'T DIE.  Despite the crimes of her presidency and escape, she is to date the only person to TELL AMERICA WHAT and make it SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP for ten friggin' minutes.  Clodfobble's presence can be detected by the sudden silence of animals and birds.  They know.  THEY KNOW.

xoxoxoBruce wrote:

That's a lie, she does great impressions of everyone. including Cagney, you dirty rat you. 

How's her Lacey, though?