The Cellar / The Things My Cow Orker Says

**Posted by monster** 6/06/2023 8:52 pm

"If I need any assistance I've be sure to be proactive"

overheard today. f'realz.

also

"I will be sure to communicate that to you"

**Posted by monster** 6/06/2023 10:55 pm

English - Cow Orker Dictionary, The part of which has a count established as one

Help - Assist
Know - Be Cognizant Of
Need - Require
Tell - Communicate To
Think - Believe
Too - Also
Write - Document

Cow Orker - English Dictionary

* Anything* - Aaaaaargh WTF??????

**Posted by monster** 6/06/2023 10:57 pm

We now have a diagnosis. Verb Cancer.

**Posted by griff** 6/07/2023 6:29 am

*gasp*

**Posted by Flint** 6/07/2023 6:35 pm

who does this guy think he is, Brent Spiner?

**Posted by monster** 6/07/2023 7:19 pm

Adding to English - Cow Orker Dictionary
Can - Can Absolutely
Yes - Most Definitely
Well - Exceptionally Well
No - Believe Not

**Posted by monster** 6/12/2023 7:11 pm

monster wrote:
Adding to English - Cow Orker Dictionary
Can - Can Absolutely
Yes - Most Definitely
Well - Exceptionally Well
No - Believe Not

In -Located In

Them via chat: I'm OOTO sick today and tomorrow, would you be able to to this task* for me?"
me: yup, where are the important items?
Them (still via google chat....): They are located in the .......

It's a good job I'm strong. .....Let me rephrase. It is a fortunate occurrence that I possess strength.

**Posted by monster** 6/23/2023 5:35 pm

monster wrote:
English - Cow Orker Dictionary,

Very - Extremely or Splendidly (I know, I know....overheard at least twice today)
Useful - Advantageous

**Posted by tw** 6/24/2023 8:19 am

monster wrote:
"If I need any assistance I've be sure to be proactive"

Can someone become antiactive?

**Posted by monster** 6/24/2023 10:03 am

I didn't think so, but then Twat demonstrated that killl more than adequately last week

**Posted by toranokaze** 7/20/2023 2:02 pm

Office language is its own dialect of English.

**Posted by monster** 7/20/2023 6:01 pm

He is still emailing "a count of x was established" every fucking time he confirms a mailing has gone.

Ans yes, he is that person who replies all on any group-wide email with inanities like "Thank you, Fred, that's good to know" when Fred emailed all 100 of us to say he was going to be OOTO this afternoon (required)

**Posted by griff** 7/21/2023 7:27 am

he he

**Posted by toranokaze** 7/21/2023 2:14 pm

And every email is marked urgent

**Posted by monster** 7/21/2023 5:03 pm

toranokaze wrote:
And every email is marked urgent

fortunately not. that is not a done thing chez nous

**Posted by toranokaze** 7/24/2023 12:50 am

Small mercies

**Posted by tw** 7/24/2023 6:28 pm

monster wrote:
that is not a done thing chez nous

I never liked anything that the nous family did.

**Posted by monster** 8/02/2023 10:53 pm

Another entry for the Eng-Twat dictionary:

buy = purchase

I mean... it's ok in a business sense, but twat used it in the context of getting a coffee from the vending machine ffs in conversation, not written.

**Posted by monster** 9/14/2023 11:45 pm

OMFG ...he used a shorter word than possible.....

He asked me if I knew the best place to purchase (yup) mums.

I said no idea, mine was shit I have no interest in aquiring another...

(then I helped ... and called them by their full name for my own amusement)

**Posted by monster** 11/22/2023 4:52 pm

We don't get used to or become familiar with new processes -we acclimate to them. I mean really? dood.
twat.

**Posted by griff** 11/23/2023 8:08 am

monster wrote:
OMFG ...he used a shorter word than possible.....

He asked me if I knew the best place to purchase (yup) mums.

I said no idea, mine was shit I have no interest in aquiring another...

(then I helped ... and called them by their full name for my own amusement)

Nice