N'hood Association game

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Posted by monster
7/01/2023 1:51 am 		#1

Clone(ish) Thread ..... but also ... let's have fun with Neighborhood/Home Association rules.   So many are so daft you couldn't make them up, but I'm willing to give it a go.......

Garden ponds larger then 10' in any direction must have an anti-stone-skimming net in place
 

The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity  Amelia Earhart
 
Posted by griff
7/01/2023 6:57 am 		#2

Lawns will be mowed between 1:15 and 3:00 on the Sunday before the holiday. Tiny American flags must be pulled and placed in the galvanized steel bucket provided for that purpose on the faux porch entryway while mowing and raking take place.All flags must be inspected  and replaced by 3:15.

If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis Brandeis
 
Posted by TheNeverWas
7/01/2023 1:18 pm 		#3

No suicides.  No exceptions.  Violators will be prosecuted, and asked to leave the neighborhood.

These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
 
Posted by monster
7/02/2023 2:29 am 		#4

All hospice-at-home cases must be reported on the 'hood facebook group,   All resulting loaned dishes from the resulting foodtrain should be washed and returned with a thank you note within 72 hours of the death.

The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity  Amelia Earhart
 
Posted by monster
7/02/2023 2:40 am 		#5

Trick-or-treat is strictly for under-13s only,,and will occur during daylight hours. No scary costumes
 

The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity  Amelia Earhart
 
Posted by Pete Zicato
7/04/2023 11:39 am 		#6

Happy to not have a home association.

 
Posted by TheNeverWas
7/04/2023 7:57 pm 		#7

Anyone who willingly pays people to tell them how to live deserves everything they get.

These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
 
Posted by monster
9/18/2023 10:39 pm 		#8

Floral displays in the front yard must contain a maximum of two colors other than green. A third color is permissible if it matches the trim color of the property (which must be from the permitted palette)

The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity  Amelia Earhart
 
Posted by Clodfobble
9/19/2023 9:26 am 		#9

Dog walkers must wear a GPS unit that shows their realtime location on a map, so I can avoid opening the front door at the exact moment that my dog's nemesis is being walked past our driveway.

My book
My other book
My spirit animal
 
Posted by monster
9/19/2023 9:30 pm 		#10

porchlights left on all night must have lightbulbs that do not exceed the equivalent of wattage of 100-your IQ

Last edited by monster (9/19/2023 9:31 pm)

The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity  Amelia Earhart
 
Posted by footfootfoot
10/05/2023 10:38 pm 		#11

monster wrote:

porchlights left on all night must have lightbulbs that do not exceed the equivalent of wattage of 100-your IQ

So, Vanta black, in other words.

Hey! That's me up there!
 


 
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