Yes, that's definitely a Bummer, LJ.
Really sorry to see this. Record some music together with your dad, or just record him playing.
Sending love and strength to you and Amanda to help you through this.
 

I'm gonna take some time off next month and go visit him... I wanna go to his Tuesday night jam one more time and play music with his old buddies. Amanda is away on a cruise this week and doesn't know about this yet....


Spencer and he are not close... Distance and infrequency of contact... Multiplied by opposing personalities...

My older sister is in the rehab health business, so she's got good advice and questions, younger brother immediately dropped everything and drove down to Charlotte to help this week...

Dad's wife is much younger than he is, and is faced with huge uncertainty about her future....  It'll be a priority for me to reassure her that she is still family when he's gone...

Sigh...

This is normal.   Your parents die.


How and when are variable....

Thanks for you guys' concern and all..

I know I'm not super active here lately, but I still think of y'all, and love you like family.

Heading down Monday after next for a few days.

He's going thru tests and biopsies this week and next.  Hopefully he'll have an action plan by the time I arrive.

This seems like a new aggressive mass, so I'm hoping they can beat it back, and give him us some more time together.

Mom turned 90 the other day

But her memory is failing and her cognitive abilities seem to be as well. These days I think of things to tell her, and then realize she won't really process or remember what I said.

That's going to be a problem because she has to remember her medications. Not to mention paying the bills, etc. Her slow decline is now a constant worry. She absolutely refuses to go to any sort of assisted living, due to her deep pride in being a fiercely independent woman. I can only hope that she doesn't wind up there after some sort of tragic error or mishap. I'm her only living relative, and I'm two hours away, so I can't help day to day and can't be right there in an emergency.

 

My Mother in Law is in a similar situation, but not as old.  We're trying to convince her to move to a low income elderly housing community like 1 mile away.  It's got nice garden apartments.  Now is the perfect time for her to move, while she can still get around on her own.  If she waits until she has an injury, then it's likely going to be an institutional type place down where she lives in NC,

Clodfobble wrote:

With the meds in particular, I highly recommend an automated medication dispenser called Hero. It's not cheap (initial outlay for the machine plus a monthly subscription), but it is fucking fantastic.

Fully programmable, plays an alarm when its time to take certain meds, then the patient just pushes the "be quiet" button on the alarm and the exact meds they need to take pop out into a cup. It can handle up to ten medications, notifies you (the caregiver) on your phone if a dose is missed, notifies you when pill supplies are running low, and can sometimes even order refills online for you if you're using certain pharmacies.

I was going to suggest something like this. I, too, had a determinedly independent mother who refused to move nearer to me so I could be of greater help until it was too late, so I feel your pain, UT.