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The Cellar: a friendly neighborhood coffee shop, with no coffee and no shop. Established 1990.

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1/27/2023 1:17 pm  #26


Re: Parents are getting old

Enjoy your parents while you can. There is not a day goes by that, I wish I could talk to my parents.


I Love my country, I fear the government.
 
 

1/27/2023 11:20 pm  #27


Re: Parents are getting old

I'm gonna take some time off next month and go visit him... I wanna go to his Tuesday night jam one more time and play music with his old buddies. Amanda is away on a cruise this week and doesn't know about this yet....


Spencer and he are not close... Distance and infrequency of contact... Multiplied by opposing personalities...

My older sister is in the rehab health business, so she's got good advice and questions, younger brother immediately dropped everything and drove down to Charlotte to help this week...

Dad's wife is much younger than he is, and is faced with huge uncertainty about her future....  It'll be a priority for me to reassure her that she is still family when he's gone...

Sigh...

This is normal.   Your parents die.


How and when are variable....

Thanks for you guys' concern and all..

I know I'm not super active here lately, but I still think of y'all, and love you like family.

 

1/29/2023 5:59 am  #28


Re: Parents are getting old

It's really really good of you to prioritise reassuring your stepmum. Let your dad know about that too, it'll be a load off his mind x


Living life on the edge.
 

2/02/2023 8:15 pm  #29


Re: Parents are getting old

Heading down Monday after next for a few days.

He's going thru tests and biopsies this week and next.  Hopefully he'll have an action plan by the time I arrive.

This seems like a new aggressive mass, so I'm hoping they can beat it back, and give him us some more time together.

 

2/03/2023 7:22 am  #30


Re: Parents are getting old

I'm feeling you brother.


If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis Brandeis
 

2/03/2023 12:33 pm  #31


Re: Parents are getting old

U:  The situation you describe simply leaves everything up to you.
The best plans you can make need to start now, starting with a durable power of attorney.
Your and her financial resources will be key.

 

2/03/2023 5:22 pm  #32


Re: Parents are getting old

My Mother in Law is in a similar situation, but not as old.  We're trying to convince her to move to a low income elderly housing community like 1 mile away.  It's got nice garden apartments.  Now is the perfect time for her to move, while she can still get around on her own.  If she waits until she has an injury, then it's likely going to be an institutional type place down where she lives in NC,

     Thread Starter
 

2/05/2023 11:13 am  #33


Re: Parents are getting old

Undertoad wrote:

Mom turned 90 the other day

But her memory is failing and her cognitive abilities seem to be as well. These days I think of things to tell her, and then realize she won't really process or remember what I said.

That's going to be a problem because she has to remember her medications. Not to mention paying the bills, etc. Her slow decline is now a constant worry. She absolutely refuses to go to any sort of assisted living, due to her deep pride in being a fiercely independent woman. I can only hope that she doesn't wind up there after some sort of tragic error or mishap. I'm her only living relative, and I'm two hours away, so I can't help day to day and can't be right there in an emergency.

 

With the meds in particular, I highly recommend an automated medication dispenser called Hero. It's not cheap (initial outlay for the machine plus a monthly subscription), but it is fucking fantastic.

Fully programmable, plays an alarm when its time to take certain meds, then the patient just pushes the "be quiet" button on the alarm and the exact meds they need to take pop out into a cup. It can handle up to ten medications, notifies you (the caregiver) on your phone if a dose is missed, notifies you when pill supplies are running low, and can sometimes even order refills online for you if you're using certain pharmacies.

 

2/06/2023 3:13 am  #34


Re: Parents are getting old

Clodfobble wrote:

With the meds in particular, I highly recommend an automated medication dispenser called Hero. It's not cheap (initial outlay for the machine plus a monthly subscription), but it is fucking fantastic.

Fully programmable, plays an alarm when its time to take certain meds, then the patient just pushes the "be quiet" button on the alarm and the exact meds they need to take pop out into a cup. It can handle up to ten medications, notifies you (the caregiver) on your phone if a dose is missed, notifies you when pill supplies are running low, and can sometimes even order refills online for you if you're using certain pharmacies.

I was going to suggest something like this. I, too, had a determinedly independent mother who refused to move nearer to me so I could be of greater help until it was too late, so I feel your pain, UT.


Living life on the edge.
 

2/06/2023 11:17 am  #35


Re: Parents are getting old

My patents expired after 17 years.

Never mind.
 

 

9/15/2023 8:54 pm  #36


Re: Parents are getting old

My dad passed away in his sleep early this morning.  Visited him in July, played guitars, took pictures, etc...  The last 3 weeks were pretty rough for him and all of us.   But now, peace.

 

9/16/2023 9:10 am  #37


Re: Parents are getting old

I'm sorry, Jim.

 

9/16/2023 11:08 am  #38


Re: Parents are getting old

Best wishes


 _______________
|_______________| We live in the nick of times.
|  Len 17, Wid 3      |
|_______________|[pics]
 

9/16/2023 11:19 am  #39


Re: Parents are getting old

Peace Jim.


If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis Brandeis
 

9/16/2023 4:23 pm  #40


Re: Parents are getting old

I'm sorry Jim.


I Love my country, I fear the government.
 
 

9/16/2023 9:50 pm  #41


Re: Parents are getting old

Oh Jim, I'm so sorry 


The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity  Amelia Earhart
 

9/19/2023 10:41 pm  #42


Re: Parents are getting old

Thanks y'all.

It's Tuesday night.  For years, Dad had his jam in Ron's loft on Tuesday nights, and he would call me on the ride home to tell me how it went.

Then I started going to eclipse and playing out.... Coincidentally also on Tuesday night...

So for the last year and a half, that call would happen on Wednesday or really late Tuesday.  We'd talk about what we played, and who showed up, and how it went...

Tonight I went and played.  It wasn't good or bad, but I went and played and sang.


100% sure he'd want to know I did.

So, I guess that's how you keep your parents alive in you.  You give attention to how you figure they would react to your action.

Would they be proud of you?

 

9/21/2023 12:47 am  #43


Re: Parents are getting old

lumberjim wrote:

100% sure he'd want to know I did.

So, I guess that's how you keep your parents alive in you. You give attention to how you figure they would react to your action.

Would they be proud of you?

Yes, this is my touchstone now. This is how I still feel their love - that I know they'd be proud of what I'm doing.


Living life on the edge.
 

9/25/2023 3:28 pm  #44


Re: Parents are getting old

I'm just seeing this thread.  I'm sorry Jim.  

     Thread Starter
 

9/29/2023 10:02 pm  #45


Re: Parents are getting old

Thanks Dan.


Service is tomorrow...  I need to get up and walk to the podium and say things.

I do have things to say.  Hope i don't choke.

 

9/30/2023 4:49 pm  #46


Re: Parents are getting old

Folks won't judge that. Just keep it real.


If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis Brandeis
 

10/04/2023 8:34 am  #47


Re: Parents are getting old

Griff's right.


Living life on the edge.
 

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